Build your Foundation First

Dear anyone reading this, I want you to know that his blog posted started as a personal word vomit stream of consciousness journal entry to kind of get my thoughts out on paper. As I was writing to myself from myself, I thought some of you may resonate and relate. The following message is written and edited for all of you, but was originally written to get my head out of my butt. In a nutshell, we can get through this season of our lives of navigation and foundation building, while also growing massively. Enjoy!

Pre-Pandemic Comparison

It’s February 2020. As I train my client, we make jokes about this “coronavirus” and how it’s making its way to the U.S. I jokingly say, “why don’t they just shut the world down? I could use a break from this job anyway!” Not realizing what was to come in the month that followed. I quickly ate my words as I found myself lost in my identity, and blurry about my future. Fast forward 2 years. I have learned SO much about myself, however, my future remains a blur. But I guess that’s normal. We’re not supposed to know the future. It’s unpredictable, out of our control, and, well, a blur! So why am I so worried about it? 

As someone who always tells her friends to stop comparing themselves to other people, I am quite the hypocrite. As I see those around me picking up where they left off pre-pandemic, continuing to live out their gifts, I sit back wondering why I’m not. 

In my heart, I know it’s time to move on to something new, but my mind tells me to play it safe and do what I’ve always known how to do. 

Where’s Your Head?

It’s the ultimate tennis game of Stuck in the past vs Anxiety about the future. “What if i do this? But she’s succeeding with this, what if i do that? No? Dumb idea, but i used to do so well with this .. “ and on and on until someone smacks me back into reality. Through all of these meltdowns and vent sessions, I finally see that as I mentally live in these two places of past and future, I’m completely dismissive of the present. 

Take 1 Step Forward, 2 Steps Back

In this strange season of my life, I’ve been planning a new project for a couple of weeks. However, there have been a few setbacks that it seems like an ongoing message that I’m not picking up on.

 I take one step towards making a move, then something goes wrong to put a pause on that plan. 

And no, crying has not been helping. 

No matter how furious I became, or how sorry I felt for myself, it didn’t alleviate any of my problems. I began wondering what this could be teaching me.

Is it persistence? Try harder? Move a different direction?  

Take 1 Step Back, to take 2 Steps Forward

The message I’m getting is that I need to slow down and take a step back. Live in the present moment, practice patience, build and grow in silence, and start where I am, with what I have. 

I am in such a rush to start new projects so I don’t “fall through the cracks” that all I do is prepare myself to repeat the same mistakes. Inconsistency, anxiety, and lost sight of my original intentions have been a common theme in the last few years. (I mean, take a look at my Youtube..)

I believed that if I didn’t get started on something as soon as possible, that I was going to derail and spiral into a black hole. As if I need to keep up with everyone around me.

Build your Foundation

 I’m not very good at sitting and resting in my presence. I was raised to go go go, hustle, be productive, be the best. I now see that seasons of rest and foundation building are not only inevitable, but incredibly essential. Its taken me years to make peace with this.

 Imagine you have a bodybuilding competition. Would you run into it with no preparation, strength, or plan? Probably not..? Because you would spend time intentionally building your body, building a solid foundation, so you’re confident for that competition.

So look at this time in your life, regarding your future, as a time to plan, prepare, get ready for the come back, build a foundation, and grow mental muscles. 

What now?

This message is for those of you who are comparing yourself to pre-pandemic you. For everyone measuring themselves to other people’s successes. For those who feel they are on a clock to succeed, and you might miss your chance if you don’t take action right this second. I have news for you! All those thoughts? They’re lies. Overcome those lies, and you can focus on a true foundation. First recognize the lies, then tell them to take a hike. Understand what it means to be present.

Let’s make a list. Those are fun. 

Acknowledge and Plan

1. Acknowledge where you are in your life. Take a look in the mirror and admit to any shortcomings or areas that need some extra attention.What are you currently doing in your career, and what do you want your life to look like? Think of your long term dream, and take steps towards that now. Create a game plan for yourself, or talk with someone you trust and admire to help you come up with a plan. 

Gratitude : Find intrinsic Joy

2. Are you happy? Or do you find yourself saying, “I’ll be happy, when..” Look for what you can be grateful for now. Personally, I am so grateful for my family, my boyfriend, my counselor, and those who have kept me afloat during these difficult weeks. I know we all believe we’ll be happy “when” we have more money, a better body, a bigger home, a nicer car.. If you are not at least at peace with your current situation, you will never truly find that happiness .. because you will only be searching for the next fix to give you joy. 

I once reached what I thought was my dream body, but I was not only incredibly unhappy, but I had an eating disorder. I didn’t appreciate it, and I was focused on everything else I could be stressed about. When I was making good money out of college, my relationships around me were in turmoil, and I was depressed. Happiness cannot come from something external, nor can it rely on someone. Because if it can be taken from you, where does that leave you? 

Develop Self : Begin your Foundation

3. Do you practice self development? If you’re in school, or you’re working a job you hate, are you taking time to do things that fuel your heart? Like reading books about topics that you’re passionate about. Or non-fiction books that can expand your mentality / improve areas you fall short in. Do you exercise? Meditate? Sleep properly? Eat for your health? Or do you neglect your mental and physical health?

Reflect, Get to know Yourself

4. Have you reflected on your life recently? Or look for any subtle messages God or the Universe is trying to send to you? Do you spend time looking back on why you reacted a certain way, why you felt hurt about something, or what’s going on in your mind? I like to write these things out so they are clear and easier to digest. If there’s too much going on in my head, I lose track and start thinking about food or what I have to do tomorrow. 

Get Present

5.  Find ways to bring you back to the presence when you start drifting off into panic mode about the future. Talk to someone, let the panic thoughts out, pray, breathe, remind yourself that it is all going to be okay (or let someone else tell you it will be), have faith and trust in yourself or something higher than you to direct your path. 

If social media makes it easy for you to fall into freak out mode, limit the amount of time you spend on apps.

What do You Want?

6. Find the root of what you want. The other day I cried to my mom about how I don’t know what to do with my life. Mid-meltdown I shouted, “I just want to help people!” Immediately, I felt a wave of relief jolt through my body. I just want to help people. No one is telling me I have to become the next Elon Musk, or find a new way to travel to space (although that would be pretty sick) But no. I know that at the end of the day, my heart only wants to help, bring value, and provide peace to others. 

Do I want the beach house, the financial flexibility, the chance to travel? Of course! But how would I get there if I don’t start anywhere now?

Sitting in my pity party accompanied by anxiety and worry is doing nothing but wearing me out. So, what can you do now to carry out what it is you want? It could be as simple as creating a game plan for yourself, complimenting someone, or posting an inspiring message on social media. Start where you are, stop waiting until everything is “perfect”, because you will never truly be ready. 

The Foundation you build now, will determine the stability of your Future

If you notice, all of these points are in regard to what you can adjust now to build your foundation for your future. Before we get ahead of ourselves, losing our mind about how we’re not where we want to be, take a look around you and work on what you can control. You cannot control your future, you can control your current reality. Create a solid, stable, secure foundation for your future self to thank.