The time is December 2018. I lay in bed under 3 comforters, my feet numb. It’s dark out, although it’s only 4pm. Working out was not in my schedule, just like the day before and more than likely the day after, all of my motivation went out the window. I shot up out of bed to the smell of fresh cookies, so I throw on my slippers and walk downstairs with puffy eyes and messy hair. Like a dog smelling food, I make my way into the kitchen to find my moms homemade chocolate chip, toffee, cookies fresh out of the oven.
“Wanna try one?”
Before I could answer I already have 3 cookies in hand.
“ Not too many! I need them for my clients!”
“I know mom I know I know.”
As she makes her way into the living room to watch The Real Housewives of whatever county, I very silently pick out the smallest, slightly broken cookies, so she won’t notice any went missing. I pour myself a cup of almond milk, and make my way back in my room trying to hide my hands full of hot cookies.
Unfortunately for my mother,, I knew the hiding stash of her cookies. Every day that she wasn’t home, I’d go in there and grab myself a few. One year, I finished an entire batch before she could take them off the tray and put them on the cooling rack.. She wasn’t too happy with me.. This went on up until Christmas was over. It also went on every year prior.
For the past 5 years of my life, this was routine. Usually the guilt of no exercise plus the guilt of binging, my discouragement would skyrocket, and it would only push me further away from wanting to better myself and get back on track. It was the most exhausting cycle I’d put myself through, and no matter how many times I promised I wouldn’t do it, I’d let my lack of self control take the steering wheel of my life.
Self Control, Temptations, Cravings
From the moment you SEE your favorite guilty food, and the moment you go to GRAB it, you have about 3 seconds to make a choice. It’s so quick, but you have to catch it. Your mind will either say ‘f*ck it just eat it!’ – OR, you’ll be able to take control for a second and talk yourself out of it. It’s so easy to make up excuses for yourself. “Well, I have my period.” “Well, I’ll just do extra cardio tomorrow” “I’m stressed, I deserve this after my long day.”
NO. Stop with the excuses, stop having a pity party for yourself, and get your sh*t together. If you know you can’t control yourself around foods that do only harm and no good, then don’t even put yourself around them in the first place. Just walk away. Have someone hide them and avoid the premises. Out of sight, OUT OF MIND.
Why it’s so Hard to Break the Binge Cycle
Sugar is ADDICTIVE. It takes a couple of days to get it out of your system. That’s why you crave sugar and carbs after a “cheat day” or a holiday. That’s why you “fall off track” and continue to eat these energy-sucking foods. It’s not YOU, its the SUGAR. Keep this in mind during those times that you feel crazy cravings for sweets and carbs. Ask yourself if you ate sugary foods the day prior, then remind yourself that it’s just a craving that you have to get over for the time being. Once you can last about a week without donuts, cookies, chocolate, white bread – you’ll begin to notice you do not even crave it anymore.
Recently, before I go to grab something my mom baked, I’ll remind myself of how I’ll feel afterwards. Or how I’ll lose control and eat until I could throw up. Whenever I eat something sugary before bed I wake up feeling like I’ve been hit by a bus, so I keep that in mind too. I’ll think of how I won’t want to workout, or how crappy the workout would be becuase my body will feel heavy, bloated, and tired. All of these little things that I’ve realized about myself overtime add up to physically not even craving sweets anymore.
I’d much rather wake up full of energy, ready to tackle the day, feeling fueled and confident in myself, than to binge cookies for 10 minutes and paralyze myself for the next 24 hours.
“I Never Have Motivation to Workout!”
It’s cold, it’s dark, and you’re exhausted. Exercising during the months of November-February is TOUGH. Going into a gym full of people, forcing pain on your body, feeling as if you’re breathing through a straw, and sweating like a pig.. it’s the last thing on your mind.
At first glance, you immediately tell yourself there is no way you’re surviving a workout.
It takes mental preparation to get a workout done when you desperately don’t want to. Take 10 minutes to visualize yourself in the gym, getting your workout finished, and imagine how great you’d feel afterward. Have something to wake you up – pre workout, black coffee, whatever works for you. Sit in the car and blast the heat to warm your body up. Make sure you have your headphones so you can zone in. Listen to your favorite song that gets you amped up, and get it done. Again, stop with the excuses and put an end to the pity party.
Your Intention is not Strong enough – Stop Relying on Motivation
Motivation is a temporary feeling that we rely on. If you’re trying to exercise consistently,, relying on motivation is your first mistake. You begin your fitness journey, full of motivation and excitement because you’re finally beginning the first step. After 2 weeks, you lose your drive and revert back to old habits. Your initial motivation is not getting you out of this cycle because it is a temporary feeling.
You need to find a reason to workout that will always get you to the gym regardless if you actually want to be there or not. You need a greater, deeper, more meaningful INTENTION.
Training for aesthetics is great, and I won’t knock it, because I train to look a certain way too. However, I have multiple reasons as to why I train that are far beyond physical appearance. I train for my health, my energy, my happiness, confidence, strength, mobility. There are so many reasons that dig so much deeper and mean so much more to me. When I workout, I feel so proud, happy, confident, and energetic afterwards, and these intentions push me to get my ass to workout (almost) every single time.
Don’t Make Rest Days a HABIT
Just like a “cheat” meal, it’s easy to become addicted to your lazy lifestyle. It’s easy to fall off track and become comfortable eating what you want and resting in bed all day long. If I take more than one day off from the gym, 2 days back to back, I find it so difficult to get back into routine, because I fall in love with lounging around all day. Obviously listen to your body and rest when you need to. But DO NOT take 2, 3, 4, days off in a row, because it will be a pain in the ass to get back. When you DO take a rest day, try to stay active – take a walk, stretch for 15 minutes, clean your room, go shopping, take a yoga class, go hiking, do something to stay moving.
Stop Being a Sheep
Don’t be a follower. Stop looking at everyone around you doing the same thing, following their foot steps, only to realize you’re settling in your life. Just because everyone around you isn’t working out, isn’t eating for their goals, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t either. Your friends and family will try and persuade you into eating what they’re eating because they can’t commit to what you’re doing. They will tell you to skip the gym because you deserve it. They will call you boring, lame, and weird, for eating clean foods and doing whats best for you.
Keep your goals in mind, and ignore it all. Do it for you, despite what anyone says or thinks of it. You’ll be the winner in the long run because you’ve committed to getting better day in and day out, overcoming temptation, excuses, and laziness.
On Thanksgiving morning I was the ONLY one in the gym. It was 6am and I thought I was absolutely nuts for working out this early. I knew I wouldn’t have time because of clients. The sun had yet to rise, it was pitch black out, and FREEZING. Not to mention,, ALL OF THE COFFEE SHOPS WERE CLOSED. I kept thinking “No one is here, why am I here? I should just leave and go back to bed. This is literally crazy.” Then I’d smack myself back to reality and remind myself that just because It’s only me doesn’t mean I should go back home- it’s even more reason to get my workout completed, and enjoy Thanksgiving, knowing I pushed myself mentally and physically that day.
Enjoy This Time of The Year
Finally, find happiness throughout the cold and dark months. Take the steps to make the winter months enjoyable and fulfilling. It’s easy to disregard your mental and physical health when you feel down about your life. If you deal with Seasonal Depression, you’re not alone, and you can get through it.
Find hobbies to give you something to look forward to and fill you with excitement. Continuously push yourself and make yourself proud. Journal often and keep your goals relevant. Take all of these steps to master your life.
Really enjoyed reading this blog post!
Great read! I guess I need a new cookie hiding place lol