To “accept” is to come to terms. It’s being able to believe, trust, and understand what is happening and changing in your life.
Life is going to throw you obstacles, bumps, and detours. It’s easy to deny them, ignore them, and distract yourself from them. One day, life is routine for you. The next, your life is flipped upside down, and all you can do is accept that you have to change things around. You have to come to terms that this is what’s going on now, and trust that it’s for the better. Know in your heart that it is only happening to make your life greater.
Often times it won’t make sense, and you’ll ask “why?” And you’ll refuse to accept it. Instead, you fight it. When external forces are out of your control, your only option is to accept, adapt, and grow. It is until you accept change, accept the person you are, accept the life you live, that you can take the steps to get to where you want to be.
Change is a beautiful thing. But its terrifying as sh%t, too. No denying that! Oftentimes, having to close one door and open another is a chance for your life to become the life you dream of. It might not seem so at first, and you may hate every second of it. It may hurt, and make you feel empty and lonely for a little while. But you will look back, and realize that it all happened so you could reach your highest potential.
How to Accept Change
Acceptance is not easy. And change is SCARY. It can take days, weeks, even months. Usually your mind will be foggy and cluttered, as you may deal with anxiety, panic, or depression throughout the initial process. Until you regain mental clarity, you can find the strength to accept and move forward.
My Acceptance Mechanism
Step 1 ; Embrace your Emotions
I allow myself a couple days to cry, if the situation calls for tears. I’ll take the time necessary for my anxiety, stress, and depression to calm down. Whether it’s a few days or a couple of weeks, I allow myself the time to heal. Sometimes I’ll overthink myself into a black hole, believing that my life is OVER, and I’ll panic and scramble to figure out my next step.
Journal
After my dramatic theatrics are over, I’ll journal my thoughts because my mind usually looks like :
In my journal, I’ll come up with a game plan of how to overcome whatever the situation is. Steps on how to slowly get myself back on my feet- whatever I need in order to feel positive about my future and my life. If I can’t control the uncontrollable circumstances coming my way, I’ll have to figure out a way to GROW through them.
Talk to Someone
I’ll talk to someone. Usually when you get stuck in your head, you will REMAIN stuck in your head. You need to TALK to someone to help unravel your thoughts and bring you back to reality.
Someone who will be real with you, who will tell you yes it’s gonna suck now, it’s gonna be shitty, but you WILL get through it. Hearing it from someone else can help immensely- since we tend to be our worst enemy and make things 100% more dramatic and difficult than necessary.
Positive Affirmations
Lastly, and most importantly, I remind myself of the person I’ve grown to be. And the battles I’ve already overcome. I’ll remind myself that I can and I will get to the next phase of my life and I will crush it. I won’t allow it to go any other way
Positive reinforcement. If you can think yourself into a depressive state, you can think yourself into an enlightened state, it’s just a little bit more work.
The Good Ol’ Comfort Zone
You’re going through change. That means you will have to escape that comfort zone for a bit, in order to make it through.
I’ll be honest, I preach a lot about coming out of your comfort zone. But it is TERRIFYING. Your throat goes dry, you forget your name, your hands shake, and suddenly you have to go to the bathroom..
Whenever I know I have to do something that makes me nauseous just thinking about, I constantly delay it. I make excuses, I bail out, I say “tomorrow!” Whether it’s a phone call, confrontation, a speech, a meeting, an uncomfortable conversation, or a new job. I will put it off until someone smacks me back into reality and says “Lianna.. get your Shi%T together Lianna! You can’t put this off forever. Might as well do it now.”
(Sometimes it’s myself who has to do the pep talking..)
It’s funny because I always plan it going smoothly in my head, then I bite the bullet, do it, and then freeze up. Ahh. I truly hate it.
Prepping for Exiting (your comfort zone)
My tips for PREPPING to do what scares you the most, is to be alone beforehand. Sit alone, listen to music or meditation, and focus INTENSELY on it. Clear your mind from the startling thing that is minutes from happening. Focus on the sounds you’re hearing- this will calm your racing thoughts.
After, remind yourself of the person you are. How far you’ve already come, and how, despite the outcome, you will come out stronger than before.
Next, break down why you’re so frightened. Is it rejection? Embarrassment? Being told “no”? Break it down small enough that you realize how you’re just freaking yourself out, and whatever it is you have to do, you will go in there confident.
Mentally prepare, then just DO IT. Because you will feel so much better afterward, regardless of what happens. You cannot grow in your comfort zone. You will not make progress in your life, if you keep yourself in your cozy box. If it scares the living sH%t out of you, that’s GOOD. It SHOULD scare you. That’s how you know you’re growing!
Change is Hard, but you are Stronger than you even Know
Cry, yell, punch something, whatever it takes for you to understand that this is your reality. You can either sink or swim. You will suffocate yourself if you choose to deny your situation.
I’m not saying to accept a situation in which you HAVE control, and CAN do something about it. But when you’re put in a situation in which you have no choice, no control, no upper hand, you only have control over how you handle it, react to it, and grow through it.
Change is inevitable. So embrace it, accept it, grow through it, and live your best life.
Very well said ! Resonated A LOT!