Two years ago, I was listening to a GaryVee Podcast in my room while getting ready for work. Gary preached and preached on how essential it is to be self aware. How self awareness is the key to happiness, success, business, and growth.
I had heard the phrase before, and I figured I knew what it meant, but how to become self aware was a whole other ball game. I searched and looked all over the internet, but I still wasn’t quite sure… until I experienced it 6 months ago.
The past year has been the most transformative roller coaster I’ve ever experienced. While it was a long, scary, dark, and lonely period of my life, I can say I’m grateful for it. If I hadn’t experienced the depression, the lowest of the low days, and the sleepless nights, I wouldn’t have gained the insights that I did. And I wouldn’t be able to tell what I’ve learned, sharing things I wish I’d known before having to experience them first hand.
Keep in mind, I’m no expert on self awareness, as I’m still learning, still wrapping my head around the whole concept, and practicing it daily. I might not know the most, but everything you’re about to read is purely out of my own experience so far.
Self Awareness 101 : What is it ?
Self Awareness.. it is exactly what it seems to be. An awareness of yourself, your mind, your emotions, reactions, desires, fears, motives, and so on.
Why do you do the things you do, react to things the way you do, fear certain things, get jealous of certain people.
Self awareness digs deeper than you can imagine. It is a habit that is essential to be practiced daily. It’s not easy, and sometimes, it can be extremely difficult, painful, and eye opening. Here’s a quick story.
September 26, 2019
I spoke with a friend for a couple hours after work on this day. We were clearing up the air on some issues going on. My friend had mentioned some past events, in which most of them, if not all- my ugliest traits took a hold of me, making me act and re-act like someone I’d never want to be around.
As my friend spoke, I sat there, re-living these events in my head, trying to wrap my head around WHY I was acting the way I was. Then it clicked. I was jealous, envious, unsupportive, insecure, selfish… but why?
I didn’t realize that I had changed for the worse. Not to mention hearing it from someone who’s opinion is held so highly was painful. But it was extremely eye opening.
I remember this day so vividly, because it was one of the hardest. Having to sit, and really truly analyze the person I became, the toxic traits I allowed to come to surface and take over, feeling nothing but shame and disappointment for who I allowed myself to become.
Gain Perspective – Talk to People Close to you
This story leads me to an extremely helpful step to increasing self awareness.
What you think of yourself and how other people see you are two different things. As people, we want to be the best we can be, and often times, we do not analyze parts of our self image that aren’t the brightest. Ego, pride, selfishness, jealousy, etc. If someone were to ask us to explain who we are in 5 words, I’m sure we’d choose ONLY good adjectives to describe ourselves, skipping over, and ignoring traits that can be quite destructive.
Talking to a family member or close friend can help open our eyes to traits we didn’t notice we carried. Traits we must work to get rid of. Ask someone extremely close to you, someone who can be open and honest, to share the kind of person they see you as- both the good and the bad. It might be nerve racking, painful, and hurtful, but that’s why I say that self awareness can be difficult sometimes.
Self – Analysis
After my friend called me out on my BS, I spent the days to follow analyzing the reasons behind the toxic traits I carried with me. Why did I feel the way I did, why was I jealous, why was I insecure? I dissected my mind and really dug deep into why I did, said, and felt the way I did. I made it a mission to focus on my good traits, and build on them, while allowing my toxic characteristics to screw off.
Self Analysis can be as simple as spending some time alone for a couple hours, and writing down your traits. You must be be HONEST about yourself, writing the good with the bad, because we all have our shortcomings.
After, spend some time unraveling your destructive traits. Do you feel or say certain things out of fear, pride, ego, jealousy, insecurity? You have to UNDERSTAND your emotions. Even if that means going back to your childhood and evaluating transformative or traumatic events that led to who you are today.
Tune in – “Being in Tune with Yourself”
To “tune in” is to listen, observe, and look inward. It’s being mindful of what throws you off, makes you happy, makes you anxious, upset, etc. Tuning in, is to be present in the moment, evaluating your mental state.
A big way I ‘tune in’ is through journaling or meditation. When you write or type out your thoughts, you lay everything out right in front of you, without having to worry about judgement or opinions from anyone else. Journal your good days, journal your bad days, then read back on your good days, and see what you were doing or feeling that made those days better. Go in depth with everything. That way, you can always keep track of whats going on in your mind.
Having your thoughts on paper allow you to check in morning and night, and observe what might’ve caused a shift in thinking or feeling.
Mindful Thinking
This is a big one! Being aware of your thoughts, or thought patterns. Have you ever suddenly felt a shift in your mood out of nowhere? One second you were fine, the next you felt anxious or upset?
Mindful thinking helps to keep you aware of a thought or event that happened, cursing you to feel a sudden shift in emotion. This will help understand why you feel the way you do.
Throughout the day I keep a close eye on my thoughts, observing any swing of emotion. I’ll retrace my steps, (or thoughts), if I suddenly feel “off” out of nowhere. That way I’ll know what caused it, and from there, I can figure out how to feel myself again.
Self Acceptance & Maximizing your Good Traits
I’ve focused heavily on recognizing your shortcomings and destructive traits because many of us try to ignore them. On the flip side, realizing your good traits, and appreciating and growing on top of them, is how you win.
Your skills, talents, and positive characteristics are where you shift your focus. Keep in mind your destructive traits while going all in on your good ones.
Accept where you are now. You might not be where you want to be, and thats okay! Appreciate yourself completely, flaws and all. This will get your mind set to succeed moving forward. As I always say… self love! Self love is key! Self Awareness is key!
Knowing, accepting, and LOVING YOURSELF is how you will become the best possible version of yourself.
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